Skyscrapers and String



Remember to breathe

A friend asked me today why it was common for women to be so unkind to other women. She related an incident that occurred before Christmas, and she was still astonished by what had happened, and at how counterproductive it had been to the project they both worked on. I have been thinking about this since she mentioned it.
As women we are always comparing ourselves to others, we are blind to our own faults, we are tenacious to the point of obsession, and if you add in power and position it could exacerbate these tendencies don’t you think?
And then there is envy. Not nice. I have suffered from envy of other’s good fortune and covetousness of their belongings in the past. I have seen envy cause any number of problems.
Some years ago,I confided in a friend about the difficult relationship I had with my mum and she suggested envy lay at the heart of it. I found that startling at the time, however as events have unfolded since then, and I have found truth in my friends observation, details have emerged which have indicated at times I was also been seen by my own mother as a threat.
Quite startling when you think how I have spent so much energy trying to be on the side of right and goodness.
Some years ago I knew a very pretty and clever girl and just the very sight of her reduced her senior colleague (less pretty but equally clever) dumb with fury. There was no way that would end well, and it didn’t.
In some other cultures, women refer to their peers or younger ladies as “sister” or “mother” if the other lady is their senior. I am not advocating this for us in the uk, and certainly not at work, but can we not think of the female person in front of us in these terms? We have more in common with other ladies than differences. We all have problems, and pleasures. And choices.
As I have said before, unkindness is hard to undo once done. And think of the pleasure of having sisters! I am an only child. I would have loved to have had sisters! I have no mother, or grandmother, so I crave female society, especially from wiser elders!
Be the wise one, be the kind sister, the mother, the auntie. The good friend.
Breathe, remember to breathe. Feel peace. We are not at war. We are sisters.
Some of my adopted sisters. Bless you!

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